I am a little surprised that it has taken me this long to review my favorite cheap beer. Then again, whenever I get some, I tend to drink it pretty quickly. Such headlong consumption does not give me much time to write up my thoughts on the brew. However, over my lifetime, I have considered Old Milwaukee from every possible vantage and am more than ready to appraise it for your pleasure.
To start, let me cut to the chase. Old Milwaukee is perfectly pleasant and refreshing whatever way you drink it. But where I think the beer’s real pleasures emerge is when you drink Old Milwaukee slightly above room temperature, say 75 degrees. In this state, there is a slight burning warmth as the liquid goes down. And, even before that, a little fizz provides a lovely physical sensation, a mouthfeel, to go with the taste magic. And the beer’s flavor is so good.
My wife calls Old Milwaukee high school in a can. And it is hard to argue with that assessment. Popping the tab open fills the air with the dank sweetness of a lovely cheap beer. This intoxicating aroma calls to mind – alternatively depending on your upbringing and predilections – underage parties, your grandparents’ house, or a dingy saloon or bowling alley. Served warm, say 75 degrees, the initial smell is heightened on the tongue into a pungent yet delightful taste apotheosis. Cold, the beer is smooth and rather indistinct, but still delightful.
I am willing to grant that Old Milwaukee, especially warm, may be an acquired taste. Personally, I came to the flavor honestly. Cases of Old Milwaukee used to be five dollars each, the cheapest on offer. And my friends and I rarely had the cash for both beer and ice. So, we would go out sailing all day with a case or two, slowly moving from the crisp clarity of an ice cold can to a sun-warmed Bikram version of the suds. Maybe it was the setting sun and easy breeze or the good company honed by a day on the water, but those later beers always provided more pleasure than the early ones. And we started to simply prep Old Milwaukee for drinking anytime by storing it outside the cooler.
Now, I am not going to tell you that you need to drink Old Milwaukee – Old Mildew, as a good, but terribly mistaken, friend calls it – warm to enjoy it. But I do know that the beer brings a great deal of pleasure however it is consumed. So, get yourself some Old Milwaukee, crack one open, and toast underage drinking, your aged relatives, or a favorite tavern or lanes, whatever most reminds you of exceptional cheap beer. Then, simply enjoy the nectar of the gods!
